Beyond 'I Do': How to Write Vows That Actually Sound Like You
The Blinking Cursor
The venue is booked. The guest list is finalized. The outfits are chosen. Now, you are staring at a blank page (or a blinking cursor on your phone), trying to summarize your entire relationship into a few paragraphs.
Writing your own vows is one of the most meaningful parts of a modern wedding, but it’s also the most terrifying. The pressure to be profound, funny, and romantic all at once can be paralyzing.
At Wilton Vida Ceremonies, we’ve stood at the altar with countless couples. We’ve heard it all—from tear-jerking poetry to hilarious inside jokes. And the secret? The best vows aren't the ones that sound like a movie. They are the ones that sound like you.
If you’re stuck, take a deep breath. Here is our guide to beating writer’s block and writing vows that feel authentic.
1. Ditch the "Shakespeare" Pressure
You are not auditioning for a screenwriting award. You are talking to your best friend.
If you aren't a poet in real life, don't try to be one at the altar. If your relationship is built on sarcasm and banter, it’s okay to include that! If you are quiet and reserved, short and sweet is perfect.
The Rule: If you wouldn't say a phrase in normal conversation (e.g., "My soul takes flight on the wings of your love"), don't put it in your vows. It will feel forced.
2. The Simple Structure: Past, Present, Future
Staring at a blank page is hard. Filling in the blanks is easy. Use this three-part structure to organize your thoughts:
The Past (The Hook): "I remember the moment I knew you were the one..." or "I never thought I'd find someone who..."
The Present (The Praise): "I love how you..." (List 3 specific things: one serious, one funny, one deep).
Example: "I love your ambition, I love that you let the dog sleep in the bed, and I love how you make me feel safe."
The Future (The Promise): "I promise to..." This is the actual "vow" part. Make real promises, not just vague ones.
3. Promises > Praise
It’s easy to spend 5 minutes listing things you love about your partner. But vows are, by definition, promises.
Focus on actionable commitments.
Instead of: "You are the best cook."
Try: "I promise to always do the dishes when you cook."
Instead of: "You are my rock."
Try: "I promise to stand by you when things get hard, not just when they are easy."
4. Keep it Short (Please)
Trust us on this one. When adrenaline is high and you’re standing in front of a crowd, 2 minutes feels like 20.
Aim for 1 to 2 minutes max. That is roughly 150–250 words. Short vows punch harder. They keep the energy up and ensure you don't get lost in a rambling story that only three people understand.
5. How Your Officiant Can Help
You don't have to do this alone. As your officiant, we are more than just the person who signs the license. We are your sounding board.
The "Vibe Check": You can send your vows to us separately. We will check them to make sure they are similar in length and tone (so one person doesn't write a haiku while the other writes a novel), without ruining the surprise for each other.
The Cheat Sheet: We can print your vows on nice cardstock and have them ready for you at the altar. No fumbling with sweaty phones or crumpled napkins.
Speak From the Heart
Ultimately, there is no "wrong" way to say "I love you." Whether you are planning a simple beach elopement or a grand ballroom ceremony, the only thing that matters is that the words are true.
Still looking for the right person to officiate? We specialize in ceremonies that are legal, lovely, and totally you. [Let’s Chat About Your Wedding Ceremony]